October 17 letter

October 17, 2006

An earthquake hit the Hawaiian Islands, as you know doubt know. My brother and family are fine – without electricity but otherwise intact. My friend Tove, who lives in Kamuela on the Big Island, is also fine but her house is in shambles. Everything on the floor, she said, and all the windows and glass shattered. I worry for her and for her husband, Butch. They are both in their 60s now, Tove has an auto-immune disease and Butch has recently suffered a series of small strokes. Having to deal with the aftermath of the quake, 6.8 the first one with a series of ‘smaller’ aftershocks, cannot be easy for either of them. Of course, I talked to Tove on the phone and Jason, overhearing the discussion, wanted to know all about earthquakes. So we discussed quakes and what one should do in the event of a quake. It seemed a logical sort of discussion to have, Seattle being periodically hit by quakes. It made sense to me to start teaching Jason, and Xander by osmosis, that panic in an emergency is not the best response. Better to know what to do, to practice it, and then, if the time comes, to act on what you have been taught to do.

Last night was a bit rough – I know, I know, nothing new. Xander started waking at 10, then 12, then 2 then 4. What made the whole thing different was two things – before going to bed, I had given him some Ibuprofen as he is teething something fierce, but as he was falling asleep, he kept complaining that his ear hurt and asking me to press my hand against it. The other difference was that two of the four times he woke, he was standing up in the crib, trying to climb out… ARGGGH! So I need to think seriously about taking him to the doctor. And I need to decide if I am going to take Jason to school first or if I will keep him home. I am tempted to do the latter – Jason’s breathing last night was very crackly and harsh. I would hate for him to miss out on any projects or fun things in school but I have a strong suspicion that Jason himself would not mind missing school. That worries me. I so want him to enjoy school yet these days he seems terribly sad. Not that, once we are there, he hesitates to go to class. Sometimes when we pick him up he is full of excitement about things done but not usually. So I will see how boys are when they wake. One of the hardest things about interrupted sleep is that it makes decision making harder. Weird but true, I find that my mind is slower and that things that, when I am well rested, are simple decisions become far more complicated when I am tired.

Not that I am complaining, mind you. In some ways I feel very lucky. Just heard, on the news, that good ole’ Tom Cruise is upset that his fiancée has not regained her pre-pregnancy figure and so has hired a team of nannies to care for the baby while Holmes works out with a personal trainer. Now if he did this so that she can do something that SHE wants to do, that is fine and loving and wouldn’t most women want the opportunity, at least occasionally, to get away and focus on themselves for a bit. But if Cruise did it for himself, because of his ‘image’ of the way Katie Holmes should look, well then that sucks big time. What an awful feeling it would be to have the father of your child being critical of your appearance soon after you had delivered a baby. Perspective, perspective. And then there was the news that an 8 year old is missing in a mountain park, has been since Saturday, and the snow and cold have shut down rescue operations at least temporarily… I see things like that and am thankful that the biggest problems we face are sleep deprivation and colds!

So...

I kept both boys home today -- Jason from school and Xander from swimming. Jason was soooo sad and told me that 'while I slept all night in my own bed, I didn't sleep well. I had nightmares.' He looked so tired, dark circles and tears. And his nose was running and he was sneezing a bunch but the clincher was his immediate agreement to taking a nap. He also allowed as how he was having a hard time at school because 'I don't understand all their rules!' He then gave me examples of the rules that confuse him and I went through the thinking behind the rules. He was not entirely convinced ('They have this rule that you have to walk down the hill from the playground -- but the path is all twisty and curvy and you just HAVE TO run!' I suggested that he imagine what it would be like if his entire class ran screaming down the hill. He grinned. Then I said 'What do YOU think would happen?' He thought a moment and said 'People might fall and get hurt.' I said 'Yes. And the school has a job, to protect kids from getting hurt. That is why there is that rule.' ) The rules he was complaining about were reasonable rules for a classroom but evidently no one had bothered to explain the reasoning behind them and you know Jason -- He needs to understand. In Xander's case, I put some swim ear in his left ear and he immediately fussed 'It HURTS!' So, diagnosis simple "outer ear infection." Didn't think that swimming was good idea.

So we went to the grocery (and dropped off the consignment stuff) and on the way, in response to Xander's very loud demand, we stopped and got the boys' hair cut. First Xander's -- because he was the one who wanted it done. Then Jason's -- because once he saw Xander having it done, he thought it a good idea. Both boys were remarkably well behaved, to the relief of the stylist, I suspect. She kept repeating how good they were, over and over in an astonished tone (grin). The boys are having 'homemade Subway' sandwiches and cookies for lunch. They both have a passion for olives and between them have polished off the better part of a can of said items. Once meals are done, I will get them both lying down for naps then get my cleaning done... or so I hope!

Anyway, I have given Jason Ibuprofen this am (for a sore throat and sore tooth) and will give Xander some before naps. We will see how both are doing this afternoon. Wish us luck and have a good day yourselves!