November 15 letter

November 15, 2006

We definitely need to take Jason out of school. Yesterday when I went to collect him, his teacher had me wait so that she could talk to me. Apparently Jason had a ‘bad’ day: He brought a stick into class (I knew about this. It was a very neat stick, shaped like a bow. He wanted to keep it so that he could make a bow when he got home. I told him he could do so as long as he put it into his backpack and left it there.) and was showing it to the other children. When the teacher asked for the stick, he said ‘No’ – a flat out refusal that shocked her. So she took away the stick. At that, he melted. Started crying and crawled under a table, refusing to come out. She was at a loss and called for the school counselor. The counselor was no where to be found so someone from the office came down and removed Jason from class. Once he was calm, she returned him to class. There he continued to have a hard day because he (in his teacher’s words) ‘couldn’t keep his hands to himself.’ Then at recess, he got into trouble because he was following a group of girls around, asking if they would play with him. After we got home, I spoke with him about the incident. “I was only showing it to the other kids, mommy” he said about the stick. Then he explained that the teacher, when she wants kids to be quiet, tells them to take a bubble out of the air and hold it in their mouths without breaking it. “But mommy, I can’t. I do it” he showed me how, “and then I can’t breathe.” He was holding his breath. I explained that the bubble was a pretend bubble and that he didn’t really have to hold his breath. He was not convinced. He further explained that, on the playground, the recess teacher told him to be quiet but that if he kept his mouth shut (Made me wonder what phrase the teacher had used to him!), he couldn’t breathe because his nose was all stuff up. I said, “I think you can probably breathe through your mouth so long as you aren’t talking.” “NO!” he was adamant. The teacher told him to keep his mouth shut. I hugged him and said ‘It sounds like you had a really hard day.’ Then he said something that broke my heart. He said ‘Everyday is a bad day.’ Now I know that Jason is prone to exaggeration – gets that trait from his mother – and I know that there have been days at school when he has enjoyed himself. But that statement, coupled with Tom’s observation that the only things that Jason talks about as fun with regards to school are the times he has recess, make me really concerned. This is NOT the way it should be. The teacher is a nice lady but overwhelmed. She has just come out of teaching preschool into a classroom of very varied kindergarteners – and she has 24 of them with no real help. I have only been in the class the one time but I was struck by her need to maintain ‘order’ as opposed to working with the flow of the children. I realize that, in order to really be a good kindergarten teacher, one needs experience. The ones I have seen who are good ARE experienced. That said, I don’t want my child to be part of the early experiment. He has his learning to do and I want him to enjoy it, to see school as the great adventure. He is not. He was soooo excited initially and now he begs to stay home. Sigh.

On a happier note, you should’ve seen us yesterday afternoon. There I was, helping Jason work on his drawing and talking to Mom when all of a sudden a giggling streak went by. It was Xander. He had striped off ALL his clothes – and I mean ALL! Jason cracked up and Xander was delighted. “I am Captain Underpanties!!!” he shrieked and took off down the hall. I corralled him and said “Do you need to use the potty? NO? Then you need to AT LEAST wear your underwear.” Put them on him, turned around and zip, he had them off and was running around shrieking again. Jason was rolling at this point. I grabbed Xander again and said ‘Captain Underpanties IS Captain Underpanties BECAUSE he is wearing underpants!” Xander appeared to accept this and then, next thing I know, he is standing there asking for help. He had taken his pull ups off, then tried to put them back on – but had ended up with both legs through one hole. He was torn between being upset and giggling. Jason, on the other hand, had no doubts. He was just plain laughing.