October 13 letter

October 13, 2006

Okay, it has been awhile since I wrote. Sigh. Time does run on. In the two weeks since I last sat down at the computer this way, life has taken over. Tom started his new position yesterday – which means he now leaves the house at 5 am instead of 5:30 and so far he is still getting home late…

Yesterday, Jason had soccer practice. Tom, though he left about half an hour late, raced home to be here in time to take Jason. But Jason, saying that he had a sore throat, decided that he didn’t want to go to soccer practice. He was looking terribly tired, has been, in fact for quite a long time, so we didn’t push it. Instead, after an unsuccessful meal of Ham and scalloped potatoes (‘I don’t like all that mushy stuff’ Jason announced, without having tasted it and Xander, taking his cue from his brother said ‘I don’t like dat!’), we took the boys – in one car – to the park. Once there, of course, where he could see all the soccer players, Jason decided he DID want to play. Tom, gracious man that he is, asked if I was okay with the two boys on my own (HUH?! I do it every day!) then raced back home to collect the stuff. By the time he got back to the park, the practice had started. Because Tom wasn’t there initially, I was running about, playing soccer with Jason and Xander. That wasn’t a bad thing, mind you, though it probably wasn’t optimal as I had ankle braces on both ankles and was wearing the wrong sort of shoes for running… Paid for it. Woke this morning feeling as if someone had kicked me in my right ankle… sigh. But the boys had a good time. Xander was delighted to be playing soccer with his big brother’s team. He was running and shrieking, he even played a few moments with the coach! Then the ‘official’ practice started, with Tom being ref, and Xander had to sit on the sidelines. He was NOT happy with that until I gave him my cell phone. Then he was happily distracted, calling grandma Pat (and having Mom cancel the calls!) and anyone else he could find. At any rate, because we only had one car, I didn’t get Xander home as early. Jason was okay with taking a quick shower so that he would have time for books but not Xander. Nope, no way. He HAD to have a bath. So he had one and was chagrined to discover that that meant his book time was reduced. Nothing is easy when you are little.

Of course, little is a relative term. Xander may be small in stature but he is as big as a lion in his own mind. For example, we took Tom out for dinner on Wednesday – Jason’s idea – and when most everyone was finished, the waitress asked ‘Do you want the bill?’ I said ‘Yes’ and as I said it, a little voice piped up ‘No, we are still eating!’ Sure enough, it was Xander and he was still eating. Then there was the balloon incident: we were at the grocery store when Xander noticed one of those huge mylar balloons, this one of Elmo. ‘Mommy’ he gasped in a reverent hush, ‘BOON!!!’ He pointed. I looked and nodded and said ‘Yes, that is quite a balloon.’ ‘Pease’ he begged ‘Me have dat boon?’ I looked again, those things run about 20$, and said ‘For your next birthday, maybe we can get you a balloon like that.’ He cocked his head, studying me and the balloon, then nodded and began to sing ‘Happy Birthday to me…’ I had to laugh. I shook my head and said ‘Not yet. But you can sing ‘Happy UNBirthday to me’’ He grinned and sang ‘Happy Birthday to Mommy.’ The child never gives up.

And Jason. I don’t know. He is so tired these days it worries me. I am not sure if it is school or the fact that he eats like a bird while burning energy like a buick or maybe the combination. I do know that we have a parent-teacher conference next Tuesday and the teacher’s wording when she requested the conference was somewhat ominous. We will find out what is what. Donna has kindly agreed to come watch the boys while Tom and I go to the conference. I so want Jason to enjoy school, maybe because my memories of it are less than stellar. I remember only too well being bored to tears, completing assignments up to a year in advance. (There was the Spanish class where I took a year’s worth of tests in the space of one day, my first grade class where – in a deal with the senior teacher – I read all the reading boxes in the space of two days so that I could be left alone to read my Issac Asimov novels, the computer science class where I wrote our assignment in 15 minutes and spent the rest of the class reading something else entirely.) I have told myself that we will see how he does and if he is truly unhappy, I will take him out, enroll him in the ‘virtual’ kindergarten that is offered and then get him into Montessori for first grade. I was hoping that he would, at least, have an opportunity to play with children his own age but they seem to spend an inordinate amount of time making the kids sit quietly… Doesn’t make any sense to me. Learning to sit is fine but at age five? Oh well, don’t want to get started on that soap box. Suffice it to say that I worry. Jason is so funny, so bright and so kind. He told me a story that disturbed me somewhat. He said that they (his class) were in gym and were involved in some sort of competition. Jason apparently commented that he didn’t understand why people were getting upset ‘Its all a game anyway’ he said ‘Its about having fun.’ His classmates were apparently shocked at this attitude and, as a body, yelled back ‘NO! Its about WINNING!’ Jason was honestly puzzled. When he plays (everything except chess), he is more interested in the game than in the end result. He plays soccer to have fun. He cheers whenever ANYONE scores a goal, whether the person is on his team or on the other team. He is not particularly focused on being the one who scores the goal, though he certainly enjoys doing so.