Just what is the lure of Chocolate cake?
When I went into the kitchen this morning to get some breakfast, sitting quietly beside the sink was the German Chocolate cake that my sons had begged me to get. It has been about half consumed -- by my sons and husband -- but I have, so far, ignored it. Yet this morning, just for a moment, I was tempted. Tempted to eat cake for breakfast -- as Bill Cosby kids did in his skit: "Dad is Great"
Perhaps it is because the house is quiet, not yet filled with the explosive energy of little boys but as I reached into the cupboard and retrieved a bowl for my (virtuously selected) cereal, I fell to pondering the temptation of chocolate cake.
The truth is, I didn't really WANT cake. Too sweet, for one thing, and I know from bitter experience how awful I would feel afterwards -- both physically, as the sugar raised and then dropped me, and mentally, as I castigated myself for eating empty calories. So what then was the attraction. In a word, laziness.
I am embarrassed to admit it but the attraction of the cake was that it was easy -- rather like the attraction of eating doughnuts on the weekend. The sheer simplicity of the enterprise is what attracted me. And that got me to thinking about the attraction of video games for both parents and children. For parents, video games, especially on hand held devices, are easy distractions. Children playing them are engrossed and require little if any parental involvement. (The same can be said of the television, of course) For children? There is both the ease of slipping into a different world and the ease of being powerful. In a DS world, the player controls the events. There may be challenges to be overcome, but the player -- often a child with few real experiences of power -- is the one in charge. Moreover, while handheld video games can be played as a partnership between two players, most children whom you see playing a DS or similar device, will be playing it solo. Playing with a partner is work -- players must coordinate movement and action, must agree upon who will play what, when. In as far as that goes, video games might well be a useful teaching tool but most of the time, parents faced with bickering children will shut the event down. I say this (blush) because I have been guilty of this myself. Yet now, as I contemplate video games and Chocolate cake, I realize that I have been surrendering to laziness.
So, what then am I to do? I resist allowing my sons to play video games -- for all sorts of reasons (I want them to be physically active, mentally engaged, and at peace with one another and with me). On the other hand, I am intrigued by the thought that cooperative play on handheld games might serve to teach cooperation... I am trying, as I write this, to think of board or card games that would do the same. Off the top of my head, I cannot. Chess, checkers, Go, Risk, Monopoly, Parcheesi... all of those are competitive games. When I think of cooperative games, generally the only things I can come up with are physical games (like soccer or tug of war) or roll playing games. Both roll playing games and physical games require an investment of energy -- but then, so too would using the handheld games to teach cooperation.
Yet my children are my children and the process of raising children is energy intensive. Accepting that, I accept that, instead of railing against their fascination for video games (and chocolate cake), I might well be better off investing some energy in turning those fascinations into teaching moments. Just as I work to teach them the difference between 'wants' and 'needs' so too must I work to teach them the pleasures and benefits of cooperation and self discipline. I know that NOT eating Chocolate cake but instead eating something healthful will make me better prepared, both physically and mentally, for the day ahead. Pushing myself, and teaching my children to push themselves, to put out that extra effort will result in a happier outcome. And using something they want to do anyway to teach them partnership and cooperation will, in the end, reduce everyone's stress level and benefit all of us.
Hmmm.... now to figure out HOW to do this!
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