Making God Laugh

If you want to make God laugh, just try and make plans for the future.
- Ron Litzler


This quote is so right on the mark! Yesterday, I planned. I planned with great care and forethought. I knew that I was going to take little boys to a park near a river so I bought them rubber boots. But I planned without remembering the nature of little boys.

We arrived at the park. The boys were all set, rubber boots tramping away. Xander was even wearing his beloved Fire Marshal rain coat. Down to the rushing Cedar River.

"Now you can walk in the river," I said, "But not too deep. There is a strong current. And don't go into..." Too late, in they plunged, water well up over the top of their boots.

Christopher, our visiting friend, looked at me in indignation. 'THERE IS WATER IN MY BOOTS!!!' he roared. Xander grinned. 'Mine TOO!' he shrieked in delight.

"Okay" I said, " Come out of the river. Sit, SIT, SIT!!! down on the bench' (This as they both attempted to stand one legged in the river to remove the boots.) Pull off your boots and...'

Christopher yelled even louder 'MY SOCKS ARE WET!' I looked at him for a long moment. 'Yes," I agreed,'that is what happens when you get water in your boots." "I can't wear WET SOCKS!' he told me. 'So, take off the socks and the boots, put the socks in the boots...' 'BUT THE BOOTS ARE FULL OF WATER!' I sighed. 'Dump the water out first, then put the socks in the boots.' "BUT THE SOCKS ARE WET!" I looked at him, sighed deeply and said 'The boots won't mind. They are wet too.' 'OH.' he thought about that a moment. Then I said 'You can go into the river barefoot.' 'YEA!' all three boys were for this and off came the boots and socks in a fury of wet.

'Roll up your pants legs' I said in a last stab at hope. They did and charged back into the water. Christopher, having gotten out knee deep shrieked 'THE WATER IS COLD!' and then looking down at his pants "AND NOW MY PANTS ARE WET!' I grinned a little. 'Yes, the water is cold. You could put your boots back on... without wet socks. And your pants were already wet...' Xander, who had been bending over to examine a rock, leaned back in an impossible position and somehow managed to get his entire backside soaked... without soaking his front. Jason, meanwhile, was happily clomping around in the 'COLD' water, soaked to his hips and examining the bottom.

Christopher came out, intent on collecting his boots. At the shore, he discovered mud and spent several minutes squishing it between his toes before rinsing his feet off. Then up to the table to collect his boots only 'MY FEET ARE DIRTY!' Sigh. "Carry your boots down to the shore. Rinse your feet in the water then put on the boots.' He did and clomped out again... 'MY BOOTS ARE FULL OF WATER!' Sigh and double sigh.

Xander had been watching this and collected his boots. He took them down and washed THEM, then washed his feet, then debated how best to put on the boots. He got them on, clomped out, got them FULL of water and with a delighted shriek, slogged over to a log. There he climbed up and, standing on the log, took off his boots, dumped the water ('Did you SEE? MOMMY? I gave the water back to the RIVER!') and, replacing his boots, climbed down off the log to go examine river rocks. This repeated and repeated. Meanwhile, Chris kept getting his boots full of water, shrieking that they were full, climbing onto the shore, dumping water, squishing mud, rinsing feet and replacing boots. Through all this, Jason serenely waded about, almost entirely soaked, now and then wearing boots full of water and thoroughly pleased with himself.

Christopher has fixated on his wet pants. 'Iwant to take my pants OFF!' he announces. I tell him, 'When we get back to the car, you can take off your pants but it is not allowed to take them off in a public place.' 'But they are WET!' he points out. I agree. 'Yes, they are wet. That is what happens when you wade deep into a river.' He humphs at me but is disinclined to leave the river.

After about 1/2 an hour, all three boys were beginning to get cold and hungry so I suggested we go home. 'but our SOCKS AND BOOTS ARE WET!' Christopher roared. I smiled. 'You can walk barefoot and carry the boots but the rocks may be a bit sharp.' 'YEA!' yelled the boys and started out of the water. Jason, careful as always, collected his boots and (of course) filled them with the rocks that he had collected. Xander, seeing this, did the same. Chris, meanwhile, was screeching ahead, yelling 'I walk BAREFOOT on rocks ALL THE TIME!' Hmm...

So we start back. Sure enough, before too long I hear Chris 'THESE ROCKS ARE SHARP!' I look over at Jason who is walking tentatively across the rocks. 'Put your feet flat down instead of rolling your feet.' I suggest. 'It will be less pokey that way.' Xander, at the back of the pack, is struggling mightily to carry his rock laden boots while walking barefoot over rocks. I dropped back to take his boots from him. 'How're you doing?' I ask. He smiles sunnily at me and says, as if it were news 'I'm all wet and sandy.' Yes.

As we walk towards the parking lot, we see a man and woman approaching. They are smiling and pointing at the boys and talking. When we get close enough, I say 'I don't know why I bothered to get them rubber boots!' The man grinned and said 'Yeah, we were just discussing that.' Hmmmm....

Once back at the car, boots loaded in the trunk, the three boys strip down to underwear. I watch in amazement as they deposit half the river bed of mud on the ground near the car. 'You brought back half the river.' I gasp. Xander grins wickedly and says 'I like being wet and mostly naked. Can I stay this way?' Chris, ever proper, tells him firmly 'NO! When we get home you will get DRESSED!' Ah, to be 6 and to KNOW the way! Then he looks at me and says reproachfully, 'I am COLD!' Before I can say anything, Jason, who always seems to be the voice of moderation, smiles sunnily and says 'Once we are in and buckled, Mom will turn on the heat and we won't be cold anymore.' Marching orders given, all three boys load up, I do too, heater is turned on and we head home.... sigh... why did I bother with boots? Oh yes, they were needed to carry ROCKS!

poetry

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance

--e.e. cummings
E. E. Cummings: Complete Poems, 1904-1962


Now usually I am more of a Don Marquis fan but this line... it is perfect. I guess any poet has his/her moments when words become magic in his grasp. For cummings, this was the moment. This whole poem 'Lie Down and Sleep' makes words music for the brief spell of reading.

Perhaps this line struck me because of what I am attempting to do: provide two little boys with a good and positive educational experience (some would accuse me of wrapping them in cotton or bubblewrap...) and in the process I 'learn from one bird (or in this case two!) how to sing':>

Learning moments are everywhere: for example, the other evening at dinner, my youngest son announced 'I am Mexican, after all.' ???? I am sure that is your response so I guess I should back up to the beginnng and let you in on the whole 'windy tale' (ala Hank the Cowdog).

But where to begin? As with so many encounters, this ending came from many beginnings. The most obvious thread to pull is the one called 'Skippy Jon Jones'. SJJ is a siamese 'kitty boy' who thinks he is a chihuahua. (Skippy Jon Jones (Skippyjon Jones))Xander LOVES the books, and they are rather funny, with SJJ as a super hero to the oppressed Chihuahua's of the world. And, of course, as a Chihuahua, SJJ eats beans and mice... Not my pun!

But that is only one thread. I fear that I supplied yet another in this particular weaving. That thread developed when Xander and Jason and I were having a morning discussion about food. Xander informed me that he had made a promise to the Aliens (which Aliens?) that he wouldn't eat meat (this was later amended to 'he wouldn't eat meat for breakfast'). I was explaining the importance of protein in the diet and we began brain storming alternative sources of protein -- peanut butter, cheese, and... of course, beans and rice! Ah ha!

The story then picks up when Xander tells me, at the grocery store, that he wants beans and rice for lunch. Somehow I had forgotten all the BR discussions to this point so I was startled. "Well" I said "Not lunch but we can have it for dinner." He subsided and again, I forgot until... at Tae Kwon Do, he began a discussion with Shannon, mother to Makayla, Cobin and Kyler, about dinner. Of course, Beans and Rice showed up... with a peanut butter and jelly chaser for good measure.

So we had Beans and Rice for dinner. Xander, munching happily away on beans, rice and tortillas, explained to his father that he "LOVES" beans and rice because "I am MEXICAN after all!" His father's face was priceless. (Choke, snort)

And what, you might be wondering, does this story -- silly though it be -- have to do with e.e. cummings' poem? Well, one might well argue that my sons are teaching me, slowly, so slowly, to sing rather than 'to teach a thousand stars how not to dance.' I am learning that, left in peace, my sons learn at a remarkable rate, that they hear and retain far more information than I could ever begin to imagine. I need simply provide a little structure and appropriate materials and they 'learn to sing' with all the joy and abandon that such an undertaking deserves.

DNA -- the next step

Another example of the power of words and books comes from our discussions of DNA. Yes, I know, who discusses DNA with 4 and 8 year olds? The answer is 'Me'. Where did that discussion start? With a book, of course, and with the fears of a four year old.

Xander has always been concerned with death and abandonment -- I am not sure why. Where his older brother is fairly calm, 'Death is not the end, it is just a change.' Xander is VERY concerned that death is an end -- an end of the company of those he loves. Every now and again, the subject rears its ugly head and he dissolves into tears at the thought that those he loves will go away from him. So I, in my infinite wisdom, explained to him that he could never truly 'lose' us as we were in his DNA. 'Everywhere you go, every day of your life and even after it, we will be with you. We are in your blood and bone.' I explained. This intrigued himself. After all, he is also the child who is fascinated with human anatomy. 'DNA?' he chirped. 'Is that 'Star Stuff?' This is a direct reference to a series of books by Jennifer Morgan about the birth of the Universe. The series begins with Born With a Bang: The Universe Tells Our Cosmic Story : Book 1 (Sharing Nature With Children Book). The three book series traces our human connection to the Universe and does so with both beauty and power. Edward Glenn, Astronaut, is quoted as saying that he felt the connection described in this book while returning from the moon to earth... and it was that power of connection, that sense of continuous belonging that drew me to this book. What better to reassure a small boy who was scared of death than to tell him that, in a sense, one never dies. We are all made of star stuff, connected now and to eternity.

But, of course, I couldn't leave it there. No. I had to get clever and tell young mister that, in a sense, he would never be shed of ANY of his family. "I am in your blood" I explained. "Through your DNA you are linked forever to all the members of your family, those now living, those long dead, those yet to be born." He looked at me, quiet for a moment, but it was his brother -- who, of course, had been listening intently as well, who asked the next, and obvious question: "What is DNA?"

So we went to the library and found a book with a brief explanation of DNA and pictures of the chain... and while driving in the car the next day, Xander, who'd been examining this book closely said with great delight 'DNA really DOES look like a ladder -- a ladder of Evolution!' He was thrilled to bits, my little Darwin:>

Of course, Jason had his own take on it... he began dissecting the DNA of Pokemon and wondering how that could be used to create new ones...Just think, he may have yet another career in store, as a molecular biologist!

But no, maybe not. He was talking very seriously about creating games and legos and I promised, rashly I suspect, that if he wanted to, I would help him compose and send letters to nintendo and Legos asking that they offer advice as to what sort of training and skills were needed to get jobs with them... And he is only 8! I must be sleep deprived.